“You were in the end, never just looking on, but had always the river moving between and the song of the water, holding the flowing of ways together.” – David Whyte, Not Taken from The Pilgirm

Near San Pasqual, we saw the first glimpses of our destination, the promise of hope fulfilled. That sighting was followed by kilometers of disappointment as we navigated the modernity of asphalt, traffic, and street lights. Eventually though, the cobblestone streets of old town appeared, and we arrived outside the cathedral square precisely at 1 pm – just in time for the ringing of the bells. Quietly, we lined up against a wall and admired the cathedral’s spires, not yet ready to enter its holy ground.

When we subconsciously decided it was time, we marched forward, a strange mix of elation and accomplishment, bittersweetness and exhaustion. We had done what we set out to do, together. We stood in the square, admiring the history of everyone and everything that came before us.

The next morning, I woke with no particular place to be, no schedule to adhere to, no “next.” I questioned if it was real, if I was still a pilgrim because I already felt one foot pulled back into my old life. The identity felt sacred, and if stripped from me, would I still have purpose?

I returned to the square because I wanted to see the new pilgrims entering. Part of me wondered if I would be transported back to the day before – had only 24 hours passed since my own moment of arrival?

It was joyous to see the celebrations from a different vantage point. I was clean, rested, and in street clothes. There were no identifiers – no pack or poles or shell – letting these pilgrims know I was one of them. That I too, had walked the path, and understood the significance. I felt their elation as my own, though the night had transformed it into something more like reverence.

I had prayed in the cathedral and been blessed by the smoky incense of the Botafumeiro. I had given thanks to my guides and saw how the path continues, though there were no longer yellow arrows marking the way.

[Photo: Our group siting on the wall outside the cathedral square – almost to our final destination, and not quite ready to end our walk.]