“…you were more marvelous in your simple wish to find a way than the gilded roots of any destination you could reach: as if, all along, you had thought the end point might be a city of golden towers, and cheering crowds, and turning the corner at what you thought was the end of the road, you found just a simple reflection, and a clear revelation beneath the face looking back and beneath it another invitation, all in one glimpse, like a person and a place you had sought forever, like a broad field of freedom that beckoned you beyond, like another life, and the road still stretching on.” – David Whyte, Santiago from The Pilgrim

You fight to keep the Camino alive in you as soon as you complete it. You wonder if “pelegrina” is something you were, like a coat you put on when it was cold for a short walk outside. Something in the past.

I wondered if the Camino had changed me at all, or if that was even the point. I worried I would fall back into a routine of busyness, always feeling late and tired. After all, I would appear as I always had, calm and content. I loved my life, my routine, my comings and goings.

So I surrendered to what is, and in so doing, started sensing the new part of me, the one that didn’t exist before. “Pelegrina” was not an identify that could be stripped from me – it was as permanent as the slant of my nose.

Deep down, I would remember the slow, the presence, the forest air and quaint villages where life had neither hustle or bustle. Where everything I needed was within walking distance, or on my back. Where time had no real authority, the sun serving as the only clock that truly mattered. I could access the Camino’s quiet depth whenever I thirsted for its stillness. Its resilience. Its freedom.

I would not shout about this new part, this new peace. I would not make signs or banners. It would simply live within me without pomp or circumstance.

For though I had reached Saint James’ resting place, I knew my walk was just beginning.

[Photo: In front of the famous Santiago Cathedral after completing the last 115 km of the Camino de Santiago.]