“Everything comes to us that belongs to us if we create the capacity to receive it.” – Rabindranath Tagore

When RECEIVE came into my orbit as my 2025 word of the year, I immediately felt discomfort. That’s how I knew it was the one. I struggle receiving even in small ways, from deflecting compliments and being treated to coffee to having luggage carried for me. During my year of Possibilities in 2022, I asked for and accepted help while healing from a torn Achilles and related surgery, but only because I was physically incapable otherwise. I can admit when I’m not good at something, and when it comes to receiving…well, I am terrible.

Like every personality quirk in my life, there’s an origin story.

My hyper independence started at a young age. I was an only child for 7 years and a typical Gen X latch key kid. My first job was babysitting at the mature age of 12, and I started working in restaurants as soon as I could drive. I got myself to my own practices, games, jobs, and exams. I put myself through college by waiting on tables. I didn’t rely on anyone else because, well…there wasn’t really anyone else to rely on. My parents were busy working and going back to school so they could provide for us, so I proved that I could take care of myself.

Looking back, part of my worth – what made me a “good girl” in my own mind – was being capable and not needing anything physically or materially.

Fast forward 30 or so years, and knowing what I want or need at any given time is a skill I’m still building. Unabashedly asking for help is a muscle I’m still strengthening. Receiving out of the blue, for no reason, feels entirely foreign.

Receiving is not about getting – it’s about showing up in whatever true state I find myself in – strong or weak, capable or incapacitated, content or lonely – accepting my own needs and then vulnerably sharing them in a way that allows others to contribute to my well-being. Most importantly, receiving acknowledges that I am worthy of this kind of grace and love, not because I’m a “good girl” but simply because I am.

[Photo: Revisting Patagaonia in December 2024 on my way to Antarctica.]