“We don’t live a life. We live a pattern.” – Dr. Shefali Tsabary

Anyone who knows me recognizes I am an adventure seeker. Sometimes this looks like traveling to a new country or trying a new cuisine, and sometimes it looks like doing something a little risky like skydiving, paragliding, or parasailing.  The most risky thing I have ever done, however, is opening myself up to love after a relationships ends. As I’ve shared before, this must be one of the greatest acts of courage we humans take on – loving someone after heartbreak.

Besides the balls it takes, dating someone new comes with a lot of ups and downs. It’s exciting and terrifying and ridiculously vulnerable, all at the same time. l’m trying to get to know this person while making sure my own heart is ready and ok for the possibility of something deeper. I’m also hyper conscious that I don’t repeat the patterns of my past, at least the ones I’m aware of.

It includes leading with empathy, vulnerability, and curiosity.  To hold boundaries, exercise compassion, and (ideally) expect nothing in return while trying to show up consistently as my best self. It’s about revealing my flaws with humility and asking another to love me anyway.

But maybe the best part of entering something new is, if done right, it’s a chance to lean into my own belonging and self-love.

I get to embrace healthy detachment – freely accepting the other person exactly as they are today, shadow sides and all. To not date the tomorrow version of them (um, anyone else taking a sip in this round of Never Have I Ever with me?). To believe them when they show me who they are. To accept the ways they are able to show me love, affection, and care without picking them apart because they don’t look exactly like same as my ways. To focus on the things they are doing right and the qualities I admire about them, because I realize perfect is an impossible standard to live up to. Even for myself.

In my new way of being, I am trying (and sometime succeeding) at embodying all of this. I am proud of my tender heart for being open to possibilities even when it’s scary. For all the ways I have stepped into my divine feminine. For recognizing I am worthy of good things including a conscious man and great love. For being true to myself, loving myself, belonging to myself, and not relying on a partner for joy or fulfillment.

This is what it feels like to be a risk-taker. And I’m ready for the next adventure.