“When you find an object of attention that makes your heart sing, focus on the heart singing, not the situation that is making it sing. When you do that, it will all fall into place or something else will.” – Abraham Hicks

I was recently in the bathroom of a bar full of young 20-somethings and was reminded how thankful I am to NOT be in my 20’s. Imagine this scene : three girls were standing around a friend who was crying and muttering something like, “I don’t get it,” while the friends consoled her with, “He doesn’t deserve you!” encouragements and “F*&k him!” expletives. My first thought was, “Oh honey, I don’t know who this guy is but I guarantee he’s not worth it.” I heard two of the friends say they were going to confront him, and sure enough, on my way out, I saw them angrily talking to an unsuspecting young blonde who I immediately pegged as…well, a 20-something boy whose brain isn’t fully formed yet, to put it nicely. My next thought about the situation was, “Oh my gosh – you’re crying over HIM! No, girl, NO!” I don’t know who they were or what was really happening but my heart flexed compassionately with a knowing of what it’s like to feel rejected or betrayed.

Thankfully, dating in my 40’s is nothing like dating in my 20’s. The main difference: ain’t nobody got time for games. At least, I have no desire to engage in them, knowing games in early dating / relationships are just a way of protecting ourselves. For me, it’s subconscious, but I probably also want to control the situation and feel like I have power over the other person.

The reality is showing up as your authentic self with a vulnerable heart is the true source of power.

There’s nothing more powerful than a bad-ass, conscious person so content with themselves they can be open without keeping score, like who texted who back last. Me, in my most authentic, vulnerable, Soul Boomerang self am LOVE. And there is no fear in love. The universe was breathed out of love, and we are all love manifested out of stardust and magic.

No matter who the person is, it doesn’t matter what happens or doesn’t happen with them. What matters most if how I love myself, how I show up in a way that feels good, and how true I remain to the core of who I am: loving, brave, and kind.

[Photo: Enjoying a cocktail at La Fonda, Baja, extremely content with myself.]