“We are the silver lining in any and every dark cloud we could ever find. There is no need to go looking for the light when you bring it with you.” – Tyler Knott Gregson

My “year of Possibilities” had a promising start and then took a drastic turn at the end of January.

First, I caught COVID after several snowboarding trips. Thankfully, I only had mild symptoms and it came at a time that didn’t affect any trips or major plans. I ended up enjoying the stillness of quarantine more than I thought I would, and after, being out and about in the world felt like a sweet treat.

I went to dinner with a good friend, visited my local favorite coffee shop, ran errands, went for a hike in San Diego’s February 75-degree weather, and cooked dinner for friends.

On day 2 out of quarantine, I played in my second soccer game of a league season I had come out of retirement for after missing a few games due to travel and COVID. In the last 10 minutes of the second half, my old cleats (which had been sitting in my garage for 10+ years) fell apart and I suddenly felt like a rock hit the back of my ankle with a rock. I immediately went down and was confused by the reaction of my teammates running  towards me. They must have witnessed how awkward my fall was.

A little dazed and a lot confused, I attempted to stand but couldn’t bear the pain at the back of my left ankle. Suddenly I was being carried off the field and placed in my beach chair. A very nice woman from the other team gave me an ice pack (the benefits of playing with “mature” women).

I knew something was wrong but I could still flex my foot up, which I figured meant I hadn’t totally ruptured my Achilles. But visually you could see a depression where the rope-like structure should have been and it was mushy to the touch (sorry, gross I know).

I immediately texted a friend who used to run the Physical Therapy and Athletic Training programs for US Soccer and now works at the Olympic Training Center in San Diego. I went to her house and she did an eval including what I now know as the Thompson test – squeezing my calf to see if my foot moves. It did not. She was convinced it was ruptured and prepared me that I would probably need surgery based on my level of activity.  I was thankful for her empathy and expertise.

I had a trip planned to visit Big Sky, Montana for the first time four days later and realized I would not be going. I also knew Achilles recoveries are months, not weeks, so future trips to Telluride, Colorado and Mount Tremblant, Quebec, would also need to be canceled.

As the shock wore off. I felt the disappointment set in and the tears freely flowed on my drive home. I couldn’t believe I had ruined the rest of my snow season for “old lady soccer” as my friends and I call it. But the randomness of the injury – and suspected role my cleats played in it – cause me to think there is more to it.

Maybe the universe wants me to rest more (apparently two weeks of quarantine weren’t enough). Or maybe there is something my soul knew I needed more than these snowboarding trips.

The following week, I went to a series of doctor appointments confirming a rupture and need for surgery.

There are a bunch of small details in the process that feel like miracles, including my first-choice doctor fitting me in to his very busy surgery schedule. I had the week to prepare, get knee scooters, arrange for rides, pick up prescriptions, and enjoy some time outside in the summer-like San Diego weather.

My surgery was Monday, February 14, 2022 – Valentine’s Day – and all went well. I am now a week into recovery and having a great start to this long-term healing process.

Here are a few of the miracles and blessings I see from all of this:

• I was able to advocate for myself to see the orthopedist recommended to me by my knee surgeon vs get mildly bullied into having surgery with a podiatrist who had a very different protocol
• Said doctor uses a much less invasive and highly effective technique called the PARS system to repair an Achilles (the doctor in the linked video was my doctor’s mentor!) and said the surgery went well
• I had the same anesthesiologist I had for my last surgery and he gave me an awesome nerve block that lasted almost 24 hours – that meant I slept through my first night and woke up the next day feeling good
• I have health insurance and paying for this and upcoming visits and physical therapy will not be a hardship
• My Mom lives close enough to have picked me up from surgery and is a great nurse; plus, she made a ton of Indian food to feed my sister and I
• My sister is staying with me for two weeks to help take care of me – it’s been a while since we’ve had good sister bonding time
• Recovery has been relatively easy – I slept well the first few nights and feel energized overall
• The pain has been managed with just Extra Strength Tylenol and Aleve
• I am strong and in decent shape so transferring from my knee scooter to chairs, the shower, etc. – getting around in general – is not terribly difficult
• I work from home so don’t have an interruption in my income stream
• I have a beautiful, comfortable home that’s easy to get around in
• I figured out how to use crutches safely to get up and down the stairs to my second story apartment so can get out (a sense of freedom is incredibly important to me)
• I was able to borrow a knee scooter from my friend’s mom and buy another one from OfferUp (one for the house; one for my car) – these have been major game changers
• The injury was to my left Achilles so I can still drive
• I am clarifying my priorities as far as hobbies and sports – snowboarding really is my number one and soccer is now something I am permanently retiring from
• I am reminded of the incredible community I have –  so many friends  have reached out with concern, encouragement, and offers to help
• I am learning to receive and accept help from said friends – a major growth edge for me (thank you to everyone who has brought me a meal or ran an errand for me)
• I’ve connected with friends I haven’t seen or talked to in a while

And maybe the most important: I am being forced to go slow – whether scooting around or hobbling on crutches, there is no prize for going fast with an injury. I’m learning a new rhythm.

Honestly, I could go on, but the point is I know this was not a drastic turn from Possibilities – it’s exactly where I need to be.

[Photo: Recovering comfortably at home with my trusty knee scooter in the foreground.]