“Learning how to be still, to really be still and let life happen – that stillness becomes a radiance.” – Morgan Freeman

One year. Today officially marks one year when life as we knew it changed. When the pandemic started shutting things down. Shutting life down, literally and figuratively.

I have been extremely blessed during this season. I haven’t personally lost any friends or family to COVID. Most people in my circles still have jobs and places to live and food on their table, as do I. In fact, much has been gained.

• Lots of quality time with my love and his son
• A slower pace of life that I’ve learned to embrace and appreciate
• Cooking almost every night and learning new recipes every week
• More intuitive, healthy eating – learning how to fuel my body in new and even more healthy ways
• Being really present for and cherishing the friend interactions I do have
• Expanding my business in new and life-giving ways
• Connecting with friends and family who live far away more frequently over Zoom

My Type 7 positivity has compelled me to focus on these things and stay in a constant state of gratitude.

At the same time, I have to acknowledge the loss. A few weeks from now will mark the one year anniversary of losing my father to colon cancer. And I am grieving things that make me…well…me: travel, time with friends, adventures, having a hyper-active social life, and more. I haven’t been able to live out the fully-expressed version of Rachel.

I feel joy and also feel another level of joy bubbling just beneath the surface of my being. It’s waiting to be acknowledged and unleashed. The duality of life on display yet again. The parallel rivers of gratitude and grief continually flowing into the lake of my being. I appreciate both for what they bring to me, teach me, how they stretch and grow my innermost fibers.

I don’t know what the new norm post-COVID will be, but I hope to carry these lessons and gifts into that new reality. I hope I am changed for the better. And I am committed to making the most of every experience I do have so that my joy – both present and bubbling – feeds my soul.

[Photo: In Lake Tahoe during a snowboarding escape in February – an experience I definitely embraced and sucked life force from!]