“But if we’re strong enough to let it in, we’re strong enough to let it go.” –Birdy

One of the best things about being in your 40’s – and I promise there are lots of them – is that you care less about what other people think and care more about being true to yourself. In my younger years, I had no clue about who I was and had barely started thinking about who I wanted to be. I wasn’t able to attract what I deserved because I didn’t know my own worth.

I ended up in a dating relationship in my mid 20’s that was anything but healthy. When I finally ended things, I faced an ugly reality – I had chosen to be in a relationship that gave me very little. Sure, he was fun and made me feel sexy, but he offered only a shadow of the devotion I wanted. It was a false imitation of the type of love I should have held out for.

Something about that memory now reminds me of the movie Pretty Woman. Richard Gere, a wealthy businessman, offers Julia Roberts’ character, Vivian – a prostitute with no education and little upward mobility – an apartment, an allowance, and essentially a stress-free life. She turns it down even though she loves him. She tells him she wants a real relationship with him, and is willing to turn down a life of comfort, thereby losing him, to get what she really wants and believes she deserves.

While I don’t recommend trying to emulate a Hollywood movie about a prostitute who finds love, there’s something to be said about holding out for the fairytale if it means respecting yourself. Maybe channeling a little Vivian is exactly what we should be doing.

[Photo: “RLD 3” by Christina Saint Marche is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 2.0]