I did not wish to live what was not life…I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow… –Thoreau

I know I’m super late to the game, but I am FINALLY watching the NBC comedy, Parks and Rec. (It’s fantastic – why did I wait so long?) I recently saw the episode where one of the characters, Ann, realizes that she takes on the personality, interests, and hobbies of whoever she is dating at the time. From grunge to cowgirl to sporty spice, she fully changed who she was to appease her boyfriends.

And while I have never been so extreme that my wardrobe started looking like a used Halloween costume emporium, I found myself searching for the real me after my divorce. I needed to re-discover my personal truths. What did I believe about relationships, the world, and even God? Who was I really, deep down in the depths of my being? And who did I want to become?

A month after my divorce was legally finalized, I hopped on a plane to Argentina. I was starting my quest to snowboard on every continent (that has a ski lift) and decided Patagonia was the perfect first stop.

It turned out that spending time in the Andes was like getting an infusion of the real Rachel. The one who finds joy in everyday things. Who loves laughing. Who loves people, and adventure, and travel, and speaking Spanish, and sports. Who finds wonder in sunrises, lakes, mountains, and volcanos. I felt like I could be the best, truest version of myself in that place of intense beauty, a barely touched corner of God’s creation.

This steeping in the things and places that brought me the most joy turned out to be the key that catalyzed the journey to find myself again. It allowed my heart to feel free and light, giving me permission to ponder all those hard questions from a place of authenticity. That was two years ago, and while I am still finding the answers, it turns out the real me also really enjoys the asking.

[Photo: Our snowboarding tour group at Catedral Alta Patagonia outside of Bariloche]