You can be loved by someone and not allow it to change you. –Bruxy Cavey

The older I become, the more I realize there is so much about myself I don’t know. The revelation is jarring at first, but it’s just more evidence that we were created for community. We need other people to act as mirrors, revealing our beauty and also exposing our flaws.

Some mirrors come in the form of friends. I like to call them “my people” – the ones who know all my crap and still love me. And the feeling is mutual towards them. Other mirrors can look like mentors and mentees. In my experience, I always seem to learn as much from mentees as they supposedly do from me. The love of these individuals can and should change us. And it can be intentional if you let it.

One of the most important functions these mirrors can have in your life is to reflect back to you the good. They can speak truth and light into your world, encouraging you and helping you see the beautiful soul underneath the veil of whatever insecurity you might be hiding behind. There are plenty of studies on how words can positively affect people’s view of themselves, and from our own lives, we know that compliments are more meaningful when they come from people close to us. People who really, truly know us.

And if you allow it, your mirrors can honestly reflect areas that need a little help. Or maybe a lot of help. They can give you feedback on how you handled a situation. Or about the person you’re dating. Or how you tend to react in certain situations. In other words, they can call you out on your stuff. When done lovingly and respectfully, this can be one of the most powerful tools in our returning-to-your-true-self tool belt.

So, go on and do it. Give your people the permission to speak into your lives. Be explicit about wanting feedback. Accept praise. Actively ask after something hard happens. Question if you’re being crazy about x, y, or z situation from their perspective. Honor the good truths and let them seep deep into your bones.

I’m not saying it will be easy. But I guarantee it will be worth it.

[Photo: former high school mentees and #teamcurly, Michelle and Lydia]