Not all storms come to disrupt your life, some come to clear your path. –Author unknown

In my early 20’s, I had a co-worker who started a joke about my small stature. If things were small – from food portions to leg room in the backseat of a car – he called them “Kumar-sized.” On the flip side, if something was large, it was dubbed “not Kumar-sized.” It caught on quickly and soon our whole office referred to the size of everyday things according to the “Kumar scale.”

For years, I was in a serious relationship that made me feel small in another way. One where my voice didn’t matter and my feelings were of no consequence. My very being seemed insignificant and unworthy at times. I didn’t even realize the depth of the hurt until it was almost over, but when I finally put language to it, the ugly truth stared back at my reflection in the mirror.

Recognizing and admitting that I had committed my life to someone who rarely made me feel good was both terrifying and liberating. Terrifying to realize I had chosen this person without ever asking myself how he made me feel. Liberating to know I am no longer bound to him and therefore no longer slave to those feelings.

So if I could travel back in time and give the younger me advice about love, it would have been this:

Wait.
Wait for someone who makes you feel like you’re the only person in the room.
Like you’re the only person in the universe for that matter.
Hold out for a guy who makes you feel beautiful and smart.
Funny and special.
Sexy and worthy of sacrifice.
Choose someone who finds peace when you are at peace.
Who will do whatever it takes to make sure that you are being cared for.
Nurtured. Happy even.

Because being with someone who makes you feel like a million bucks is definitely not Kumar-sized. And hallelujah for that.