“Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise so I am changing myself.” –Rumi

If you’ve spent any amount of time with me over the past year, you’ve probably heard me say some version of “What’s your type?” No, this isn’t an off-the-wall pick up line. It’s a reference to the Enneagram – an ancient tool thought to date back hundreds if not thousands of years that has recently gained popularity, especially in Christian circles. (Its origins are still under debate.)

I’m sorry if I have over-grammed anything for you, but it’s the most helpful empathy tool that I have ever come across, leading to both empathy for myself and my neighbor (aka you). And I think this is because the Ennegram recognizes personality as dynamic – something that’s always changing depending on our circumstances, but sees the motivations behind our behaviors as having deep, hard-to-pull-up roots.

So here’s my attempt at converting you haters, skeptics, and Ennea-virgins to appreciate and use this amazing device.

I’ll start with this definition by Chris Heuertz from Sacred Enneagram that I really like:

//…the Enneagram may be the most effective tool for personal liberation. By revealing our illusions, the Enneagram emphasizes the urgency of inner work – the intentional focus required to prioritize the nurturing of our spirituality by facing pain from our past, exploring areas where we’ve neglected emotional healing, and consciously examining our struggle to bring our best self forward in our vocation, relationships, and faith.//

There are nine dominant personality types and levels within each type of how “healthy” we are. Each type tends to exhibit tendencies of another type when stressed or in “disintegration” as a form of self preservation, and borrows traits from a third type in health or “integration.” The goal, if there is one, is to become the healthiest version of our dominant type: a return to the truest version of ourselves despite our wounds, fears, and masks.

For me, it’s provided language for things I already knew about myself and also provided new insights and definitions into why I am the way I am. Turns out, the best part of me and the worst part of me are the same thing (which is true for everyone). I’m a Type 7, sometimes referred to as “The Enthusiast” and described as excitable, spontaneous, curious, optimistic, outgoing, and more. We strive for freedom and independence, love adventure and travel, and tend to view the world through a lens of positivity. The downside of the Type 7 is our basic fear: pain and a sense of deprivation, plus we tend to be scattered, distracted, restless, escapist, and impatient. We avoid hard things like the plague, and instead replace them with fun, unique experiences, and more. We mentally cope with life by filling our social calendars to the brim and emotionally cope by giving into a gluttony for things that bring us pleasure.

All of this rings true in my own life. Pain? No thanks. Feeling deprived. #Ew. Plan a trip instead of dealing with hard stuff? Sign me up! No wait, I’ll sign US up! Glutton? I finally have an explanation for my long-standing french fry addiction!

My entire life, I have had a positive disposition (my number one in StrengthsFinder for those of you familiar with that tool), have enjoyed adventure/travel/sports/music/fill-in-the-blank, and have been constantly inspired and awed by everyday occurrences like sunsets. But I have also been a master compartmentalizer (pretty sure that’s a word), ignoring emotions instead of facing them head on. And this avoidance has always been an auto response – a way of self preserving – so that nothing brings me down.

What I’ve learned through the Enneagram, therapy, and simple life experience involves things that I’ve shared in previous posts like Streets of Mumbai and Chasing Silence in Hokkaido. Like the fact that actually acknowledging grief actually helps it subside faster. Facing loss and heartbreak head on diminishes the power it otherwise has over me. Sharing when things aren’t ok helps others relate to me, and is a vital part of the process. Turns out I won’t die (literally or figuratively) from an occasional night of solitude. Oh and crying in front of people doesn’t actually melt my face off (just my mascara).

A funny thing has happened along this path to enlightenment: I have come to appreciate the times of reflection that I so vehemently (albeit subconsciously) opposed. I now enjoy moments of sitting shiva with my own hurts because it brings relief and acceptance mixed with gratitude. I intentionally build in margin into my schedule so that every minute isn’t filled with activity. Sometimes I even plan a night alone to simply process life and write. I know I am being stretched, but I am also actively participating in my own healing. And I am celebrating life to its fullest, sometimes through the saltiness of tears.

Enneagram Resources:

• Liturgists podcast Episode 37: The Enneagram (great intro)
• Explore Your Type (free test*)
• Enneagram Institute RHETI test ($12 paid test)
• Sacred Enneagram (this is my favorite book on the Enneagram thus far)
• The Road Back To You
• Enneapp
• Typology podcast

*I actually prefer the free test, although experts in the field will tell you to be vary of all test results because the Enneagram measures motivation, not behavior. It’s helpful to read all of the type descriptions to conclude what type you might be dominant in.