For the past few years, three friends and I have chosen “words for the year” and have met to share their significance, how we arrived at them, and to set our intention for the coming 12 months.

The year 2016 was REFRESH – a time to rest, recover, and heal from my divorce. Two thousand seventeen was all about ADVENTURE, a reminder of and return to the best, truest version of myself. And this year, 2018, is all about ONWARD – a call to move forward, not settle for the status quo, and go farther in all areas of my life. It’s about embracing the suck and simultaneously being filled with gratitude for the beauty. It’s about continuing the difficult work of self discovery and letting go of the pieces that don’t serve me or others.

The irony is that I know that ONWARD is going to require what on its surface will seem like a momentum killer. That is, 2018 is going to intentionally be filled with the spiritual discipline I need most: silence. And I don’t just mean a talk-less-listen-more kind of silence, although that’s an area I can definitely work on. I’m talking about a stillness of the mind that clears itself of busyness, to-do lists, and anxiety over a future I can neither predict nor control. Instead, the noise needs to be replaced by purposeful stillness and solitude, two other disciplines I pretty much suck at except for the occasional shavasana or night in.

So far, ONWARD has included recapping 2017′s favorite moments, the people in those memories, setting areas of growth, and intentionally slowing down my pace of life. Two thousand eighteen has also begun with serious prep for what is sure to be an epic adventure – an 11-day trip to the northern most island in Japan, Hokkaido, known for its ski resorts, “champagne powder” (aka Japow), and back country terrain.

My travel buddy, Marlise, and I are planning to practice meditation, a little yoga, and a lot of shredding. There’s no place that I feel more at peace, more at home, than in the mountains. No place I feel more of a spiritual high than when I am riding a chair lift admiring God’s creativity and nature’s awe-inspiring beauty. No time when I feel more alive than when I tighten my bindings, bomb down a mountain, and feel the rush of wind in my face and powder under my board.

>>At times, chasing silence has a marked resemblance to chasing snow.<<

I find it uniquely fitting that my quest for silence begins in the “Land of the Rising Sun,” the birthplace of zen, and a culture steeped in a rich tradition of respect and honor. I hope to empty my mind (and heart) of false narratives and unsaid expectations and instead embrace the chance to live each day recognizing there is a rhythm of high and low, of bittersweet and pure joy, of sitting shiva and actively pursuing your dreams.

You see, ONWARD is not necessarily about “better.” Surely, this year will be great and messy and hard and wonderful. It will be what I make of it, and it will all be a gift.