“[We] want to be part of something – to experience real connection with others – but not at the cost of [our] authenticity, freedom, or power.” –Brené Brown

I’ve decided that God created some places to be more beautiful than others, and Panamá (as pronounced by locals) is one of the prettiest. Miles of coastline, rolling hills, green forests, a volcano, valleys, rivers, and over 1,600 islands off its shores. To add to the landscape, the people are hospitable, friendly, and incredibly proud of their country. I’ve been to a few places in Central America, and certainly Panamá is among the most impressive as far as infrastructure, cleanliness, and industry. Of course, the canal, with its complicated history, contributes to the booming commerce and Panama City’s relevance as a global financial hub.

Going to Panama was undoubtedly the result of divine providence. The year before, we had a layover at Tocumen International Airport on the way to Colombia, and I was instantly drawn to the lushness of the land and colorful culture. Then, as part of the intention set for 2019 by my word, Shalom, I made it a goal to attend some kind of wellness retreat. Santa Catalina Retreats had everything I wanted: an all-inclusive stay and dining experience, yoga, activity (surf, horse back riding, stand up paddle boarding, kayaks) and an option for diving. I knew it was the perfect chance to explore the land that had fascinated me in just 20 short minutes of flying over it. 

I’ve been on some truly epic trips since my divorce – Patagonia, New Zealand and Australia, Japan, and Colombia, to name a few – and now Panama is part of that illustrious list. The combination of the people – our incredible retreat hosts, Vickie and Sergio, world-class yoga instructor and super woman, Michelle Barge, and two fun, smart, and easy going retreat mates, Lisa and Tory – the beauty of the place, and the retreat itself were more than I could have hoped for.

I took surfing lessons for the first time since I was 25. We practiced personalized, high-quality yoga twice a day, every day. We explored a Robinson Crusoe-type uninhabited island, used stand up paddle boards, kayaked, took a horse back ride at sunset, and had meaningful, deep conversations. We saw the true wonder of giant barges passing through the canal and enjoyed rooftop views and cocktails in Casco Viejo. We allowed our bodies to be pushed and stretched beyond our normal limits and then ate like kings and queens.

I can’t count the number of times I thought to myself or said out loud, “We are living our best lives.” And everything I’ve described above contributed to that, but the real reason boiled down to this:

When you feel connected to a place, other people, and yourself, it’s the perfect storm of fulfillment. 

Like the Brené Brown (heart eyes) quote above from Braving the Wilderness, the concept of belonging to myself has been critical as I step more vulnerably into self-discovery, relationship, and presence. I felt completely free, totally authentic, and somehow powerful while experiencing the connectedness of everything and everyone around me. I was able to fully show up and embrace all that was being presented to me experientially and spiritually.

It felt like another step towards returning to my true self. It was joy-filled and easy. And to top it all off, I got to travel with my best friend. 

Panama did more for me than I thought it could. It brought a new sense of wholeness. Wellness. All around peace. For me, this trip will always embody shalom. So, hasta luego, Panama – undoubtedly, we will meet again.

[Pictured – Top row: low tide at the point break in front of Santa Catalina Hotel; yoga instructor, Michelle Barge, retreat co-founder and host Vickie, and fellow retreat guests, Lisa and Tory with us on our last night at the hotel restaurant; on the Cinta Costera in Panama City; diving off Coiba Island. Bottom row: Keenan and retreat co-founder and host, Sergio, on Isla Santa Catalina; daily yoga in the ashram with Michelle; with Tory and Lisa visiting the Panama Canal.)